More Than Half the Things on My List

I have been experiencing an abnormally high number of life's stresses in the last few months. What they probably don't know, is that recently when I close my front door, I totally shut down.

I don't speak, I avoid everyone, I eat only what I don't have to prepare or cook. I have been slinking around the house attempting to distract myself from feeling too vulnerable to face anyone. Thus I have been using this damn computer as an escape so that I am not forced to focus on all my problems at the same time. This has worked out for me so far because I am still here.

And because I am still here, I decided today, to at least pretend to join the rest of the world. Today I practiced what it is like to be a normal person. Not a 'super' normal person. More like a 'just made it over the line' normal person.

So I did some housework and my house now looks more like a happy balanced person lives here. I drove into town and did some grocery shopping and my refridgerator now looks more like a healthy, motivated to cook person lives here.

In total I completed more than half the things on my list. 'Not bad considering', I thought. I also joined a Video Store and I had a conversation with the lady behind the counter.

This was the first conversation I have had with an adult outside my immediate family for more than a week. This lady was lovely. She had a wonderful chat with me about turning 40. According to this lovely lady, turning 40 makes you think about yourself more. Apparently turning 40 means you get to look after yourself more.

I thought about this and came to the conclusion that if this is true, maybe that is not such a bad thing. It's certainly needed, and perhaps timely. Definitely a bit of a new experience. I think maybe I might take her words on board a little more.

I think too, that when I return the videos I might thank her for her chat. I bet she doesn't realise how important her words were to me today. And I bet she doesn't get thanked nearly enough for her bright and sparkling personality and easy going conversation.

Photo by Tom Curtis http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=178